RadioRoryChicago is my kind of town.
Pattaya, Thailand is not, and I’m “stuck” here for a month.
A quick Google search and you’ll find that Pattaya is the sex tourism capital of the world. The old Russian guys who move here to marry young Thai brides are not called ex-pats, but rather sex-pats.
I landed here because a friend has a condo and he gave it to me cheap for the month. I figured I could use it as a base to explore other parts of the country.
For some reason, Pattaya reminds me of my old home in Daytona Beach, Florida, with T-shirt shops, parasailing offers, and cheap booze. But there’s an innocence to the spring break fun of Daytona Beach that doesn’t exist here. There’s sadness and desperation amid the surf and sand.
Pattaya is about two-and-a-half-hours southeast of Bangkok and it has all of the trappings of a tourist town.
The kinds of businesses that barely pay living wages but take any big profit out of the community to their corporate offices. You’ll see Hilton, Starbucks, and McDonald’s just steps from the shore. They are also blocks away from Walking Street.
The boulevard lined with tired old bars, massage parlors, and sex shops. The street has such a reputation that it’s actually a stop for international tour groups. In the early evening hours, before the real craziness begins, guides holding their triangle-shaped flags escort dozens of touring shutterbugs past neon signs with their double entendres.
Technically, I wasn’t staying in Pattaya, but nearby Jomtien Beach. It’s a bit quieter, a bit older, and there’s not as much money going around. There are giant high-rise condo towers going up next to some crappy slums, but the area is dealing with its own real estate collapse. Foreign investment is drying up (currency swings) and the locals here can’t afford to live in a swanky new building. You can see they’re making an effort to revitalize the city, but it’s poorly coordinated. (Maybe that’s another reason it reminds me of Daytona Beach).
Now I’m not much of a beach guy. I love going for an hour or two and walking along the water’s edge before retreating to the shade of a palm tree and a nice cold beer. So why would I book a condo near the beach during the month of September? It was a good deal in a modern building with pools, security, a yoga studio and a gym (or so I’m told).
Beachgoing is a little different here. You can rent inflatables or chairs that are grouped under a tight system of umbrellas. On Jomtien, the sidewalk that runs between the busy road and the beach is frequented by peddlers selling sunglasses, toys, and food. Lots of food, but none I could recommend.
The vendors have a small heater in a little metal bucket. They use the makeshift grill to crisp up squid or other seafood delight. I kept clear, certain my stomach hadn’t built the required immunity.
There are also people selling small paper baskets of coconut shrimp or onion rings. And who doesn’t love a piece of deep fried shrimp that’s been sitting out in the humid air for hours?? I’m not sure what turned me off more. The lukewarm food or its coconut coating.
You’d think a place that looks like paradise would feel more like it too.
